a turquoise flower

Gosh, I hate summer. And not just for its stifling heat, but for the odd moods it brings out in me. Some people get depressed in the winter, I, on the other hand being the contradictory person I like to be, get depressed in the summer.

I've also been thinking about returning back to all the awesome land comms I quit some months ago. But that would actually entail that I become active/sociable again, and I don't think I'm quite up to it (see above: summer depression).

I dunno. I just feel like I'm in a bad place right now because the future is so uncertain and I'm feeling anxious and like I'm doing nothing with my life because I am, LITERALLY, doing nothing.

The only bright spot is I've become so immersed in catching up in my reading of books and comics and my writing that hopefully that'll give me something else to dwell on besides these awful feelings tumbling inside me.

Meh.

Cry moar, self, I know. -_-

So I went to my local comic store again today and shamelessly spent a lot more money on more comics. (Self-control, I haz it not but thankfully, there was a $26 discount in there so I didn't end up spending as much as I would've without the discounts.) I brought Spider-Woman: Origin, The Amazing Spider-Man: Secret Invasion, Young Avengers: Family Matters (which is a compilation of issues #7-#12 and Young Avengers Special #1 - of course I'd have loved to get the beginning issues too, but the store didn't have them so will keep a lookout on them), and What If? Secret Wars #1, which is a compilation of Captain America: Fallen Son, House of M, Spider-Man: Back in Black, Newer FF, and Young Avengers/Runaways and answers such questions as what if Doctor Doom kept the Beyonder's power? What if Iron Man had died instead of Captain America? What if the Scarlet Witch had said, "No more powers" instead of "No more mutants?" What if Mary Jane was shot instead of Aunt May? What if the new Fantastic Four stayed together as a group? And finally, what if the Runaways became the Young Avengers?" Which is all YAY and makes me ^__________^ and *____________*.

Still didn't get to buy Abandon by Meg Cabot, but the store ordered it for me and will be here by Wednesday so hopefully will have it in my possession by then.

It's kinda funny that I've just been buying Marvel stuff. I didn't intend for it to end up like that intentionally, it's just all the characters I've been interested in have been from titles that Marvel's published (X-Factor, Runaways, Young Avengers, Spider-Man, and the Fantastic Four, once I figure out where I want to start with them - not from the beginning, LOL) but I totally do want some DC titles too and have been meaning to check out Birds of Prey, not just because it's a DC title but it's primarily focused on female superheroes, which, HELLO, YAYNESS. (And Batgirl sounds awesome too. And of course Batman and Superman titles would be awesome to get into too but Batman & Superman have been around relatively a lot longer than Batgirl or Birds of Prey. Batgirl didn't appear as a character until '61 whereas Batman's been around since the late 30s.)

There were also some Tiny Titans issues I've been thinking about buying some day because they're all just so cute! And I've read the Tiny Titans: Sidekickin' It trade back before and it was so funny and witty for an all-ages comics. (And I find it funny that in Tiny Titans, Slade is the principal of their side-kick school and Darkseid is the janitor/whatever-else-Slade-wants-him-to-be, especially because in the DC continuity verse, Slade and Darkseid are very evil and creepy but Tiny Titans does even say in its comic that it's not part of the continuity so it really should be enjoyed for its adorableness - which I have no problem with.)

~*~

After attending my brother's fiancée's graduation on Saturday, we (my brothers, my brother's fiancee, and her mother, who I incidentally met for the first time on Saturday) all went out to lunch to Kons Asian Bistro, where I had the filet mignon and shrimp combo - because I absolutely love shrimp, seriously my love for shrimp knows no bounds, I wish I could eat it everyday - and they all had a combination of chicken, salmon, and filet mignon too. And of course we got some combo of vegetables and hibachi fried rice. It's always awesome to have a hibachi table and be entertained while waiting for the food.

So it was a good week. And I finished my second year of undergraduate college last Wednesday too.

~*~

And will end this post with the awesome Tiny Titans: Sidekickin' It cover:

...or alternatively happy Single Awareness Day! (I don't know why you'd *say* happy Single Awareness Day but that is what they say, isn't it?)

So finished a story last night. I'm not sure if I'm too happy with it. I was ecstatic to write it because it's a new fandom (well, new for me). I have no idea why I have the big Smallville bug right now but Chloe/Oliver is just too cute.

Also the mods over at teamatlantis are just the biggest sweethearts ever! ♥♥



(If you ever need to know how to win me over...just mention dolphins and have Jason Momoa and Joe Flanigan pose together in huggles. ♥ I'll be yours for all time.)

I'm in a surprisingly good mood considering my big A&P test in less than an hour. (I studied though! I so totally studied and memorized all my flashcards that I needed to! Didn't get to go over all the slides again but eh...most things that will be on the test were on the flashcards already...I hope.)

Man, am I tired today. And it's not even midnight yet! What I wouldn't give to not love sleep so much and actually be productive while I'm supposed to be sleeping, instead of just not being productive at all.

And just so you all know, closetd0rk is really, really pretty in real life. And awesome and stuffies. And yeah. <33333

*tries to go back to her studying*

- wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!! in the process of making my first fanvid!! There's just so much to learn! A few things I did learn so far: (1) cutting and placing relevant clips is apparently an art form in itself, (2) sometimes the mute button will not work T__T and sometimes not even the cutting button will work right (for me at least)!!! (3) I still have no idea if I can move the clips around in the specific order that I want, haven't found any way to do that, so now the clips are just being played in the order that they're dropped. (4) It takes a really, really LONG time to create clips from one episode/media clip. Like an hour and twenty minute long movie, it takes about 86 minutes to create clips you can drop in your fanvid, and for a 22 minute show, it takes about 22 minutes. Which translates to a lot of down time before I can fiddle around with the clips and get to the actually making of a fanvid (because when you create clips, it freezes Windows Movie Maker so that you can't collapse the window or do anything else on WWM until the process of creating clips is done).

- it's going to be horrible! but despite that, I'm sooo freakin' excited!!

- also had my interview this morning for volunteering at the hospital. It wasn't like a real interview interview because there are so many positions you can work in and so few volunteers. It's not like a job where you have more than one person vying for that position. It was more of a meet-and-greet sort of interview - but still, nerve-wrecking. (And the lady doing the interview did ask me questions like 'why do you want to volunteer at MMC?' but mostly it was me signing a few papers and her trying to pencil in when I can volunteer - because my college schedule is crazy).

- so thinking about volunteering and still going to the part-time job I already have at the library and going to class...things will be super crazy for the foreseeable future and I will not have much time for other things. (Other things being like land comms and general tomfoolery.) Super depressing. :(

MEMES~!!!~

* Ask me my Top Five Whatevers. Fannish or literary or otherwise. Any top fives. Doesn't matter what, really! Fandoms, books fics I might get around to writing one day, characters in my fandoms, ideal holiday destinations, goals for the future, celebrity crushes, books I wish would be made into movies, OTPs, anti-OTPs (which I think I mean least fave pairing), love songs. And I will answer them all in a new post (or in comments).

* the ones in bold relate to me:

( Read more... )

I spent the morning in the public library, waiting to meet a guy so I could give him money and he could give me the gift certificate I won at his fundraiser to benefit the Gulf aid. He ended up being a half hour late because he overslept and forget he was meeting me. I wish I overslept because I got up at 9:30 so I could make our 10:30 appointment. And 9:30 AM is about two hours earlier than I usually get up during the summer. I've really become a lazy beach bum.

I'm actually glad that it was just a case of him oversleeping because I was really worried that I had somehow messed up and gotten something wrong and he was probably waiting for me somewhere entirely else so when he did call and explained why he was running late, I was very relieved and went back to reading the two books I wanted to check out while I waited for him. (Both books, in case you were wondering, were by Mitali Perkins, Monsoon Summer and The Secret Keeper. Monsoon Summer I had already read but wanted to re-read.)

~*~

* multi_ficathon is coming! Multi_ficathon will be starting up on July 29th with the prompting on Thursday and writing for twenty-four hours all day Saturday and Sunday. I was thinking of trying it out, never done this kind of thing before so we shall see.

* sailormoon: The Big Sprawling Crossover List links to fan art where Sailor Moon is crossed over with EVERYTHING. I do mean everything.

My older brother and his girlfriend came back from vacationing in the Philippines and Korea for a week early/late Sunday morning. For a few hours in the early/late morning, while my parents went to Boston to pick them up from the airport (because their flight came in at midnight and there apparently weren't any buses, I have no idea, they just needed a ride home from the airport) I was left ALONE. Thankfully, the house didn't burn down and no one dangerous came in to kidnap/rob me (apparently, I have a pretty wild imagination that makes things way worse for me than they are in reality).

~*~

Last night, I stayed up until four in the morning looking at HP fanart. I only look at fanart in "binges" - that is insane amount of time passes before I encounter anything, and then once I start, I can't stop at just ONE. It's an illness and if anyone discovers a cure, I will happily volunteer to be your guinea pig to try it first.

( Seven Gen Recs )

( One James/Lily Rec )

( Four Sirius/Remus Recs )

(pretty much all of these I found over at crack_broom, where I spend an unhealthy amount of time lurking. AND SO SHOULD YOU.)

~*~

And: Random Thoughts I've Had About Harry Potter

*It would be awesome to meet Neville's grandmother because she sounds awesome.

*So if one were to suppose that Lily didn't choose James and had actually married Snape, would Harry Potter still be Harry Potter? The Boy Who Lived? Or would Snape and Lily's child be someone completely different? Would the prophecy about Harry still hold true? Or would it fall on Neville to battle the Dark Lord? (Maybe I'm misremembering things but I could've sworn I read something about Neville and Harry being born almost hours apart from each other and that had something to do with the prophecy Harry found in the Ministry. Can't find the passage now.)

*Why in the world is Brian a part of Dumbledore's extremely long name?

Okay, so I went down for some food, and long story short, I cut myself.

I actually cut a small piece of skin of my first finger on my left hand. Do I need to go to the hospital for that? Parents went somewhere and probably won't be back for awhile, and brothers are asleep. I've actually lost a lot of blood - more so than when I usually cut myself- and it's still throbbing with pain a little bit.

I've managed to minimize the bleeding to a somewhat less dizzying amount...but I'm worried about my skin. Will I need to tear it off, or will it heal together by itself?

I have no idea what will happen now, and that scares me more than the blood itself because now I have all sorts of wild ideas running through my mind.

I really need to be more careful.

So, I've been thinking about fandom, and really, my participation in it. Y'see what I've noticed, more often than not, is when real life interferes and I'm not spending time in fandoms, when I finally have free time and try to jump back in, it's like I feel out-of-step. And it's just a really depressing feeling. I feel dragged down with all the stress of real life and fandom is then viewed as though it's a chore- something you have to do to not feel deprived of something- which it isn't, but when you try to acclimate yourself into that environment again even if you've been gone only for a short period of time, it flops back at you lifelessly and makes you think why am I stressing myself even more? But you cannot not go back to fandom even if you know it's not good for your overall health/mind.

It's addicting, I suppose then. But on the bright side, it only happens toward the beginning of me entering fandom again, after I've tried to avoid it for other pressing things.

And don't even get me started on how much school and real life drains me of inspiration- usually for everyone else (I've noticed), it's their muses' fuel, but for me, it just makes me listless and my brain empty of creative juices.

Oh, August Rush looks so romantic!!!!

Ahh, I want to see it so bad...but I don't think I can rope my brothers into seeing a chick-flick romantic movie with me!!

Arrrggg, it's at times like these that I really wish I had a sister whom I can relate the romantic in me with.

All the movies my brothers want to see have to involve something getting blown up/someone getting their arm or limb getting chopped off/Satan killing everyone or something to those extents. Which, honestly, aren't my movie tastes. (Well, I won't turn down a scary movie, but only if I can watch it with the lights on...)

Oh, well...

:(