a turquoise flower

I'm sorry I haven't been very active on here; school is making me so insane and on the verge of always being one step away from a nervous breakdown. But I can't afford any nervous breakdowns because that would require me taking a break from my life and that's not...possible at the moment.

But that's depressing so let's talk about some happy things:

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I've also been tuning in to Castle and Once Upon a Time. I don't have much to say about either of them except Castle is not holding my attention all that much lately. (I don't think it's quite jumped the shark and I *LOVE* that Beckett and Castle are together...but I'm just not sure about some of the execution of the Beckett and Castle togetherness - if that makes any sense at all.) But I am loving Once Upon a Time.

This is in no way a respectable book blog but I don't think it matters - at least I hope it doesn't.

This meme is hosted by Anna at The Weekly Enthusiast.

1. CHLOE SULLIVAN-QUEEN (from Smallville)

Chloe was definitely a major reason why I got into Smallville only when it *ended* (because The New Adventures of Lois and Clark will forever and *always* remain my first beloved Superman show and I want nothing to take its place, but Smallville might up up there with it as my fave show about Superman/Clark). She's just so AWESOME AND BAMF AND I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE HER AND I WANT HER TO BE REAL DAMN IT WHY ISN'T SHE REAL *SOBBBING*

2. ZUKO (from Avatar: the Last Airbender)

I can't articulate very well why I love Zuko except to say that I love his journey in AtLA; I love what kind of a person he becomes by the end, how very complex his character was. (I didn't like him very much at the beginning but mid-s2 or something like that, I found myself becoming very sympathetic to him and by s3 I was completely smitten by him.)

3. BURTON GUSTER (from Psych)

I can't explain my love for Gus without descending into a squealing mass of incoherence and blubbering. I just - he's AWESOME. OK? Trust me, if you hate Gus, then there is seriously something wrong with you.

4. MYKA BERING (from Warehouse 13)

I think while I've talked about loving EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER that comes through WH13, the one character that I *both* adore to pieces and find myself relating to the most is Myka. And we all like seeing ourselves in fictional characters.

5. STEFAN SALVATORE (from The Vampire Diaries)

This show is...ridiculous at times. In good and bad ways. And I have a lot of ~feelings about it. But the one thing I will always know is that Stefan Salvatore is VERY AWESOME AND MY FAVORITEST (with Damon and Caroline and Bonnie and Elena and Jeremy and Rebekah and Tyler as my other favorites).

I kept waiting for some awesome Mason/Alaric/Damon and wheeeeeee!! someone finally answered my prayers - Here Comes Another Fall from Grace (I'm Always Falling On My Face)

And this is the lone story I wrote for Fall Fandom Free For All:

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I seem to be using both DW and Tumblr for all my episode ramblings. And I really ought to stick with just one to be consistent (I feel like I'm developing dyslexia because I wrote constant but that didn't feel right for some reason except I had no idea what the right word was that I was searching for), but sometimes it feels right to blather on about Psych on Tumblr and sometimes it feels right to blather on here. So I guess I'll use both for now until I've made up my mind one way or the other. (Not that anyone probably cares a great deal what I thought of all these shows I watch but it's awesome for me to get all my thoughts down.)

Also, signed up again this year for Mini NaNoWriMo, with a word count of 150 words for the next thirty days. I thought that was a reasonable, but still somewhat challenging goal. (November is just such a sucky day to commit to writing a novel - at least for me.)

and a meme that's going around:
Come knock on my door by replying to his post with 'trick-or-treat' & I'll respond with a small something -- sentence fic, an icon, a declaration of my love for you, a pic, etc. ♥

Six-word stories are awesome and addicting - but I could only do three of them for now. I can't even write six-word stories? That's pretty much my conclusion! And that HP commentfic isn't like even 100 words. I dunno.

The Vampire Diaries, Jenna, decision

The Vampire Diaries, Caroline/Tyler, shall we dance?

Stargate: Atlantis, any male scientist/any male soldier, danger

Harry Potter, Sirius/Remus, coming home

bullet list!

• I really need to write porn. Why does writing fail me at such an awesome time?
• Some "The Vampire Diaries" spoilers. Most of the things they spoil I could've predicted already. And some of the things they spoil, I wish wouldn't turn out true. Like that Stefan spoiler in particular. Didn't they already do that?
• After avoiding "Smallville" for ten years, I'm totally hooked now. Reading summaries like these and catching up on the show is not helping. And I mostly watch just for two characters - Oliver and Chloe. Chloe, I know has been with the show since the beginning but she's been absent for most of the last season because the actress, Allison Mack, has other commitments and she's only going to be in five episodes for the last season which is sucky. Oliver is the Green Arrow in both the comics and the show and he's such a fascinating character because he's the only superhero on the show who doesn't have a superpower beyond just his human strength and agility. But really, I love all the characters and the guest stars that appear. I came for the Chloe/Oliver but I stay for the Lois/Clark, and Martha Kent and Tess Mercer and Emil the Doctor and Cyborg and Aquaman and Impulse and just gah. I know the fandom though is such an explosive place and I'm shocked at the hate that is sometimes heaped on Clark, who is the main character and therefore does get the major plot lines and the most screen time so y'know I understand that minor characters often get shafted and that's just how it goes with a show like this that brings in a lot of characters and plot lines but that is only a 40-minute show (60-minute if seen live).
• School started last Tuesday and so far it's going great. I vowed to actually really buckle down and study and it's been going great. The trick is to not turn on this blasted laptop until I've finished everything and it actually works. So now I'd really like to make the Dean's list - at least for one semester - that'd be lovely.
• I also mailed the application to the Nursing program at my uni and now I just have to wait, which is killing me. I have no idea if they'll send me a letter if they reject me or what or how long it'll take them to go through everything and reject or accept me and let me know. I told myself I wasn't going to obsess over it and whatever happens will happen but, ugh, just the wait is killing me.

General spoilers for season two of The Vampire Diaries and Glee

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♠ Supernatural and I have parted ways. It was amicable, no hurt feelings, but my heart isn't invested anymore (I mainly watched for Castiel but I don't think he's in a lot of episodes this season and it would've been torture watching all the episodes he wasn't in just so I could understand the episodes he did appear in). I have been reading random people's reviews, and there's a lot that I don't think I would've liked just based from other people's reactions. I'm not so keen on catching up and I think it's better this way.

I was trying to write this The Vampire Diaries fic for Yuletide's New Year Resolutions 2010 thingy that I had started last year (I have always wanted to participate in yuletide, but it's kinda intimidating and the NYR seem more flexible because they happen year-round and not just in the holiday season and you're not responsible for giving someone a fic which is what gives me the most anxiety because I do not trust that my muse will be there when the time comes to write someone a gift) but I just don't think the way I'm writing it now is going to work (not that I have a lot written). It's a threesome fic with Katherine/Damon/Stefan and while usually threesomes squick me the hell out, this would be the only instance where I gladly welcome the threesome-ness - because it works, somehow, in my demented brain. Except this was before we knew more about Katherine and what happened before Stefan and Damon and the show decidedly did not display a threesome relationship between the characters - which is one of the reasons I'm thinking it won't work in terms of canon. (The other reason being that I can't at all write Katherine. She's just too much of an evil, manipulative character for me to get a handle on. I also have no idea why I originally thought the relationship between Katherine, Damon, and Stefan was canonically a threesome one. Maybe if this wasn't a high school show...But probably not.)

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter as this particular prompt has already been answered so my own fic would have to just be a TVD fic for regular occasion. But, man, is it frustrating because I think I'm gonna have to scrape the story because nothing's coming or going! And I don't think it's my inherent dislike for threesome fic either that's roadblocking me because - as I've mentioned previously - I'm totally on the bandwagon in this fandom for the threesome (and even a Stefan/Elena/Damon threesome in present day) because it could totally fix everything and actually be kinda romantic - in a demented sort of way because, yeah, they're still vampires so there's a degree of demented-ness guaranteed.

Because I love Stefan/Damon together but I also love Stefan/Elena together and have been warming up to Damon/Elena so really a threesome is the only solution. (I don't like Katherine at all but that's best left alone. I did ship her with Damon once upon a time, gladly, but that's when I thought Damon was irredeemable so he and Katherine fit together well like the two "evil" characters they were, but that's not the case as of the season finale.)

Of course, it could all be chalked up to: the muse is fickle.

I don't care either way, if the story works out or not, because I didn't have a definitive plan going into the writing. If I think up something, I'll continue it but I don't think it's worth my energy writing about a character I don't really understand or like (I mean Katherine, because the piece is largely about her while Damon & Stefan are just the background characters).

Meh.