a turquoise flower

Gosh, I hate summer. And not just for its stifling heat, but for the odd moods it brings out in me. Some people get depressed in the winter, I, on the other hand being the contradictory person I like to be, get depressed in the summer.

I've also been thinking about returning back to all the awesome land comms I quit some months ago. But that would actually entail that I become active/sociable again, and I don't think I'm quite up to it (see above: summer depression).

I dunno. I just feel like I'm in a bad place right now because the future is so uncertain and I'm feeling anxious and like I'm doing nothing with my life because I am, LITERALLY, doing nothing.

The only bright spot is I've become so immersed in catching up in my reading of books and comics and my writing that hopefully that'll give me something else to dwell on besides these awful feelings tumbling inside me.

Meh.

Cry moar, self, I know. -_-

SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 70 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list.Put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and submit post at the bottom. Have fun.

HAHAHAHA - I think this is totally wrong. I think it should be the other way around - if you've seen less than 70 of these films, then you have no life (like me :D) (I think the horror section killed me [uh - no pun intended?] because I've only ever seen one and that's about one too many for me. I am a WUSS, really.)

( movies...lots of movies  )

Things That Are Annoying Me Greatly

= Stupid Itunes and its need to get updated what seems like every month. And every month, I have no idea what version of Itunes I'm gonna get. I wouldn't get the updates, honestly, but the download prompt is insistent and won't let you be in peace until you download it. So you have no choice but to download the updates. That stupid, clever Itunes. *sticks tongue out*

= The fact that a band I love and subsequently have been listening to my whole life, the Goo Goo Dolls, is going to be in MY STATE, IN MY CITY next month. You know how often that happens? How often the stars and planets align perfectly and a big name band like that comes to this small, piddly-diddly town?? NEVER! Now, NORMALLY this wouldn't annoy me (I WOULD BE SHRIEKING FOR JOY AND WHEN I FOUND OUT FOR A MOMENT I WAS) but it's on a Tuesday and at 7:30, and I don't get out of class on Tuesdays until 7:10. Blah, blah, blabbity blah!! Why couldn't they come on a Friday or Saturday or even a Sunday??? WHYYYYYYY?

= School in general. That first week was OK and everything but it's all going to go downhill from here.

So, I've been thinking about fandom, and really, my participation in it. Y'see what I've noticed, more often than not, is when real life interferes and I'm not spending time in fandoms, when I finally have free time and try to jump back in, it's like I feel out-of-step. And it's just a really depressing feeling. I feel dragged down with all the stress of real life and fandom is then viewed as though it's a chore- something you have to do to not feel deprived of something- which it isn't, but when you try to acclimate yourself into that environment again even if you've been gone only for a short period of time, it flops back at you lifelessly and makes you think why am I stressing myself even more? But you cannot not go back to fandom even if you know it's not good for your overall health/mind.

It's addicting, I suppose then. But on the bright side, it only happens toward the beginning of me entering fandom again, after I've tried to avoid it for other pressing things.

And don't even get me started on how much school and real life drains me of inspiration- usually for everyone else (I've noticed), it's their muses' fuel, but for me, it just makes me listless and my brain empty of creative juices.