it's the finest of the flavors

[dahlia_moon]

So, I've been thinking about fandom, and really, my participation in it. Y'see what I've noticed, more often than not, is when real life interferes and I'm not spending time in fandoms, when I finally have free time and try to jump back in, it's like I feel out-of-step. And it's just a really depressing feeling. I feel dragged down with all the stress of real life and fandom is then viewed as though it's a chore- something you have to do to not feel deprived of something- which it isn't, but when you try to acclimate yourself into that environment again even if you've been gone only for a short period of time, it flops back at you lifelessly and makes you think why am I stressing myself even more? But you cannot not go back to fandom even if you know it's not good for your overall health/mind.

It's addicting, I suppose then. But on the bright side, it only happens toward the beginning of me entering fandom again, after I've tried to avoid it for other pressing things.

And don't even get me started on how much school and real life drains me of inspiration- usually for everyone else (I've noticed), it's their muses' fuel, but for me, it just makes me listless and my brain empty of creative juices.