a turquoise flower

dahlia_moon @ 2016-06-13T22:32:00

2016-06-14T02:45:45Z

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED
AAHHHHH

my parents and I moved to a smaller place (we moved May 7th, and I still haven't unpacked the majority of my books because I lost my big floor-to-ceiling bookshelf during the move and can only have tiny bookcases now, but it's ok: TINY BOOKCASES IN MY TINY APARTMENT FOR MY TINY FAMILY);
I've gotten a job (!!!!! but also it's temporary, and will end in August and the soul-crushing hell that is looking for a job will begin again; also bc of said job i am now always tired and going to be bed ridiculously early, like 10pm early. this is, of course, a major contrast from going to bed at 2am most nights pre-job);
my twin brother is moving at the beginning of July to France for two or three years. FRAAAAANCEEEEEEE aaahhhh majorly jealous of stupid civil engineers and jobs that afford them the opportunities to live in France.
speaking of siblings, my older brother brought a house with his girlfriend at the end of April, I believe. The house is also tiny and pretty much all woods on all sides. but it is adorable and it is their own.

Huh. I mean, laid out in a list like this, it doesn't seem like much has happened??? but it feels like a million things packed into a million emotions.

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dahlia_moon @ 2016-03-15T01:12:00

2016-03-15T05:18:56Z

if, like me, you miss porn battle, pbam is having a porn battle prompt stack calling for new prompts. it's most auspicious that i checked my flist when i did otherwise i might've missed this glorious thing.

i miss writing. i don't know where it went, but it disappeared and i can't find it. ;///

~~in other news, life is sucky and i'd rather not talk about it. but what else is new~~

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trope_bingo round 6 card

2016-01-04T18:02:48Z

We shan't talk about rounds 4 & 5.

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notes:

April 15: Last day to request a first card
April 31: Last day to request a second card
April 31: Last day to post bingos for this round
May 1: Amnesty beings
June 31: Amnesty ends
July 1: Next round begins

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run and tell the angels this could take all night

2016-01-01T04:39:06Z

I've been wanting to compose this entry sometime since January (of last year) but the words/courage have failed me. (well that's not entirely true--i've been composing this entry in my head but the hard part is getting it down in writing.)

The short of it is, for a long time I had been feeling kinda blah. I didn't want to say the word depression for various reasons, most of which were variations on a theme of this being mostly a self-diagnosis and not clinical so i didn't feel like i had a claim to it as i was still operating under the delusion that i could bully my emotions into some semblance of sanity--each day that i woke up, i tried to remind myself that things were not as bad as they could be and that, some days, brought rare instances of hope, but it was also an apt word.

So I graduated last May and I'm still, for various reasons again which i'd rather not talk about at this juncture, unemployed. i had a big emotional upheaval sometime at the end of September where I felt like a zombie--just existing. and that largely transformed into an emotional state of ennui and the general feeling of being a waste of human space. it was not pretty inside my head.

i think i'm doing better, at least i'm not as crippled about thoughts of my future as i was around this same time last year.

but i also feel like i have to talk about it, somewhere, at least acknowledge the dark thoughts that existed even if they are only getting acknowledged here and majorly left ignored everywhere else. and i miss blogging. i miss interacting with you all here. i'm trying to get back in the swing of things and sometimes i succeed. but it's still largely an uphill battle.

so. that's where i'm mostly at. i'm not looking for anything because i know there's not much that can be said. i just need you all to be patient with me. and i need to feel like this is the one safe place i can return to. (because i suck at talking about this shit in real life, internalizing everything and bottling it up until i feel like i'm about to lose it and have a nervous breakdown. it took me almost two years to even bring it up here so clearly i have problems.)

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~writing updates

2014-09-11T17:15:30Z

I participated in troublefest again (honestly this might be my last time because, while I do love writing fics for other people, I don't love Haven as much as I used to). We'll see. This season needs to not disappoint me like s4 has--not that I hated s4 technically, but it's my least favorite.

This Place I had Visited Before
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Multi
Fandom: Haven
Relationship: Duke Crocker/Audrey Parker/Nathan Wuornos
Characters: Audrey Parker, Byron Howard
Additional Tags: Season/Series 04, probably will become AU after s5 premieres, Fix-It of Sorts
Collections: TroublesFest 2014

I had meant for this to be an existential fic because that's the kinda mood Haven gets me in. I don't know if I succeeded or not. Also, it features Agent Howard, who I loved before he tragically and unnecessarily died. I have a lot of thoughts on Mara and Audrey and Howard and the Barn; not sure if all are correct and/or will end up being canon, but that part I don't really care about--I like thinking about how I'd solve some of the questions the show teases us about while I wait on them to give us some definitive answers (if they do ever decide to give us some answers...)

I also somehow managed to finish my PR Femslash fic--dudes, let me tell ya: I've just not been in the greatest writing mood these past four or so months. But it's done and I don't hate it. But that's probably because it features one of my favoritest lady characters so. I'll crosspost that fic once the archive goes live.

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PR Femslash Ficathon 2014 letter

2014-07-16T03:43:45Z

First off, thank you so much, dear author, for writing for me. Above all else, I hope you have fun writing these awesome 'ships because if you have fun, dear author, I will have fun reading whatever you come up with. If you need some help/inspiration/rambles on why I love these 'ships, there are a lot of words behind the cut. :D

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I'm surprised it's taken me this long to become a Super Sentai fan honestly

2014-07-15T00:52:10Z

= Only got up to episode 23 of Power Rangers S.P.D. before I suddenly started watching Samurai Sentai Shinkenger i.e. the Japanese version of Power Rangers Samurai. (Hopefully more coherent thoughts on S.P.D. as a whole after I finish it to follow. I know I should've seen it before watching Samurai because the whole time I was watching SPD, I was imagining Mentor Ji had suddenly gone evil and it messed with my mind.) HOLLLLY MACKEREL IT'S SO AWESOME it's about ten times more awesomer than Samurai, sorry sorry. But in Samurai, there are nagging questions like "but! how did the samurai end up in a California-esque place?!!" (I know it's called "Panorama City" but that doesn't mean anything really.) "Why is Jayden's last name Shiba??" "And WHY IS A WHITE GUY LEADING A TEAM OF POC??" Except for these nagging questions, Shinkenger is basically the same show though but somehow more awesome???? IDK ~~why do american shows suck so much?~~

Having said all that though, I still love Samurai, but now I feel like any one of them could've played Jayden and that it didn't have to actually be Alex Heartman. I heart Alex Heartman and his boyish good looks as much as the next fangirl, and it does feel strange to imagine anyone else in the role, but after seeing the Japanese version, I feel like it'd at least solve the problematic racial aspect of the show. It's just a thought experiment.

= Before becoming obsessed with Shinkenger out of nowhere, I also caught about five random episodes of Gogo Sentai Boukenger (because of a fic obviously) and liked it as well. After Shinkenger, I'll start watching it properly in order. (Only got through two episodes of Operation Overdrive, the Americanized version of Boukenger--well, an episode and a half--before I started wondering if there was another PR series I could marathon already. Sigh. Maybe after I've watched all the interesting Super Sentai shows, I'll come back to OO. ngl, I just want to come to that epic episode where Adam comes back and they team up with Tori, Xander, Kira, and Bridge because they're all my favorites.)

= I also signed up for PR Femslash Ficathon 2014 because I love both things immensely though I haven't really written any PR femslash before now. The letter for it might show up here soon because, while signing up I started to ramble and ramble and was like, maybe people wouldn't like to actually read such long ramblings on the sign up page?? despite the long ramblings for some of requests I had chosen, I had a hard time coming up with prompts because I literally like everything so my impulse is to just write to have fun, but I realize that is also super unhelpful so I endeavored to come up with random prompts. Coming up with prompts is sooooo hard though.

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caught up on haven (spoilers for the season finale) and I have things to say about it apparently

2014-06-21T14:34:23Z

Huh.

That's all I can say that's not spoilery.

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the 10 crucial movies list

2014-05-28T20:07:51Z

Everyone should post their ten most CRUCIAL CRUCIAL CRUCIAL-ASS movies, like the movies that explain everything about yourselves in your current incarnations (not necessarily your ten favorite movies but the ten movies that you, as a person existing currently, feel would help people get to know you) (they can change later on obviously).

The Princess Bride
Ever After
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Beauty and the Beast
Star Wars
Harry Potter movies
Fight Club
Mrs. Doubtfire
Jumanji
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

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power rangers megaforce

2014-05-23T03:53:33Z

So you know there are spoilerphobes. Well, I'm the opposite of those--a spoilerphile, spoiler-lover, anti-spoilerphobe?? (We need a good name; this will bug me now.)

Not unrelated to the above, I got through the entirety of Power Rangers Megaforce on Netflix, thinking I'd be able to watch the next season, Super Megaforce, instantly BECAUSE OF ALL THE AWESOME CAMEOS OBVIOUSLY. No such luck though. :/ I shouldn't be that disappointed seeing as the season isn't even finished (BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS SERIOUSLY WHY DID I THINK EPISODES AIRED FEB. THROUGH MAY?? THAT'S SO STUPID.) But you can't just go to the end of Megaforce--on a freakin' cliffhanger where the robots/alien monsters with the weird heads come on the scene and THE LEGENDARY BATTLE is teased--without being frustrated that you have to wait until the season's finished and Netflix adds it.

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Shot gun, aimed at my heart, you got one

2014-05-09T07:55:03Z

+ I am kinda sad not a whole lot of you are on LJ anymore, but I get it. The site has not been user-friendly for a number of years, and people need to do what people need to do. But LJ and DW are, I think, the only platforms that invite intimate conversations about our daily lives. Twitter is good for snippets and random thoughts that pop into your head, sure, but not conducive to lengthy conversations without feeling like you'd break Twitter, and/or annoying if you have to go over the character limits, and Tumblr is unwieldy re: personal texts, and writing, imho. Tumblr's mostly good for graphics and music. Not that Tumblr /can't/ be used for text posts, but the archive system is shit and I can never reply to people's post because the site is not made for such things. (I mean, I /can/ reply but it entails me going to my dashboard, and I never scroll through my dashboard anymore because I'd never get out of tumblr if I did that, so now if I want to reblog/like things on tumblr, I go to the individual tumblrs themselves and that's not conducive to replying, is what I meant). I have friended a number of you lovely people on DW, so there's that. What I'm saying is, I'll be here, if people find themselves wandering back around or visiting for the first time. I'll be like that one grandmother who loves to hang out on the porch, and wave at random people passing by.

+ Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie is getting a reboot! I can't see this news as being anything other than awesome because a whole new generation of Power Rangers fans! What's there not to like?

+ an archive of our own meme snagged from sarken:
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only the cute and happy will be accepted

2014-04-22T03:15:15Z

I need some cute in my life. So. There is no point to this post BUT CUTE/HAPPY PICTURES (that I ganked from various media sites I'm addicted to). Please feel free to share cute things if the urge should find you.

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a thousand little wars i have to choose between

2014-04-03T03:30:48Z

+ A delightful person translated my Elementary fic: Adventures of Clyde: Super Sleuth and Undercover Tortoise. Do check it out over here if you can read Russian and are so inclined. (I used to be able to, once upon a time, write my name in Cyrillic, but those days are gone. I guess I could pick it up again, but meh...Why learn two different alphabets when one is serving me awesomely so far? ~~Way to show cultural heritage, self.~~)

+ The Maple Leafs finally won last night against the Calgary Flames, after going on a little heartbreaking 8-games straight losing spree. There are only five more games left before the playoffs. So yes: very stressful times ahead indeeeeeed. (They play the Bruins tomorrow who are...crazy good, I guess best describes it? 7 straight wins, damn you Bruins.)

+ Whyyy is 2048 so tough for me to beat?!! I think I've getting over my addiction to the game as I don't feel the constant need to play it anymore, but it's close going. So, WARNING: THIS GAME WILL SUCK YOU IN AND NOT LET YOU GO. EVER.

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quick tee-vee links

2014-03-21T02:50:43Z

+ The correct order Almost Human should be watched. Sigh. The current episode of Enlisted also didn't make any sense regarding two characters ~~and people have theorized that that its episodes are airing out of order as well~~, no they're def. out of order. (Have been seeing around the 'net that the correct order ep is: Pilot,5,2,9,1,4,3,6.) To the surprise of no one, Enlisted is also a Fox show. Why do you have to make things so confusing, Fox??

+ 10 Things You Didn't Know About The "How I Met Your Mother" Series Finale. It's mostly a silly list that made me laugh out loud. I loved #3 in particular: Someone finally points out that I don't sound like Bob Saget.

+ And a deleted scene of Parker Young from Enlisted and his cute butt. Obviously, it's NSFW. But, god, I knew there was a reason I loved this show right from the get-go. #shamelessobjectification #thatshowiroll

And I found some gin hidden in the pantry, but as I've already become aware, I hate the taste of alcohol so have just mixed in a tiny sip of gin and a full glass of water enough so that the flavor of the water is sweet but this way I won't get drunk. Parents aren't big drinkers either which is why there's only gin and whiskey in the house, mostly for company that comes by unexpectedly and parents haven't had time to shop for the "nicer" wine, but gin and whiskey is so hardcore, and I'm afraid even only a full shot will make me light-headed. I suspect I won't like beer either. #experimenting #onesipatatime

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this Leafs obsession is really getting out of hand

2014-03-03T03:33:33Z

So I watched this vid of Jake Gardiner & Morgan Rielly quiz each other and I thought it was the cutest thing.

Apparently, there are like a lot more vids now of other Leafs getting quizzed by Brooke Pashley (who, I've gathered, is a reporter/host for Leafs TV or something).

the others I really cared about:
The brookepashley Minute: with Phil Kessel (people say he's awkward around cameras, but I say he's really adorable)
The brookepashley Minute: with Tyler Bozak (when he says his greatest quality is that he's caring, I just about died)
The brookepashley Minute With JVR (Jen Aniston is his crush, ahhh, I can totally agree with that choice tho--I'm a total Aniston fan as well)
The brookepashley Minute with: Nazem Kadri (Phil's in the background the whole time and he's a lot less awkward than he was in his own interview)
The brookepashley Minute with: Kuli (I really love his accent, but then again I love all accents, but he's still adorable)

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dahlia_moon @ 2014-03-02T15:11:00

2014-03-02T20:11:52Z

Trade deadline decisions for Maple Leafs

I suppose every hockey fan has to deal with this (and I suppose the NFL too), BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I'D HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SO SOON. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WARN YOU ABOUT GETTING INTO SPORTS?? IT'S ALL HEARTBREAK. /ALLL/ esp. if you're following a team like the Maple Leafs. Hahahahaha, did I luck out there. But the Leafs are now my team, for better or worse.

(Okay, so they didn't win the Stanley Cup in close to a quarter of a century, but there are some teams out there in the NHL who have never won the Stanley Cup, okay, or who have won it a really, really long time ago, never to get it back again and all I'm saying is that there are probably worse teams out there to support. But if someone does support those lesser teams, I wouldn't say anything because they'd be that person's team and I would know how precious feelings all around would be. Just saying.)

Anyways, I really don't want them to get rid of James Reimer or Nikolai Kulemin or Mason Raymond or Jake Gardiner or Nazem Kadri. I'd probably care more about Bolland getting traded if I watched him more but in the four games I've watched, he hasn't really played. Though to be fair, he was on the injured reserve list for a while, and only came back for yesterday's game.

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You're shaking my confidence daily

2014-02-27T04:57:55Z

I don't think I can get away with saying I'm not a sports fan anymore. Because I just spent an hour watching the first episode of HBO's 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic: Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Detroit Red Wings.

some things I noticed while watching the Winter Classic ep:
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I still maintain that I'm a casual fan though. I like watching the games——and my almost $20 subscription to NHL to catch the Canadian games should be a testament to something——but I don't care much for memorizing stats or knowing plays or really...understanding much? I guess. (Like I don't get the point of drafts at all. I know players are a commodity and because they're getting paid a shit ton of money management should be able to trade them around as though they're only chess pieces but drafting is such a *heartbreaking* concept okay, and this is coming from someone who's only been a hockey fan for some three weeks and hasn't actually had to go through a player getting drafted. Oh and icing. I totally don't get what icing as a penalty is about.)

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I tried to let it fade// But I can't get away

2014-02-25T23:52:16Z

» Actors who I love are continuing to say dismissive and hurtful things: Tyler Posey had this to say about Sterek. Dude, I get being bitter and resentful, but that's crossing a line.*

*I'm still not over that Clark Gregg interview where he insinuated that people giving up on Agents of SHIELD because it didn't feature Thor or Stark or anyone else from The Avengers/Marvel-in-general were "losers".

» Speaking of Marvel, I'm so freaking ecstatic I'm not the only one who'd give up a first-born to see a Runaways movie being made, or the only one still getting up every day and asking myself, is today the day I get my Runaways movie?* Drew Pearce and how Marvel's Runaways are more like The Godfather in tone. I mean both BKV, and Whedon have written for this comic, get on that Marvel people.

*I mean Runaways the comic here--six teenagers with powers who find out their parents are all evil, and run away to forge their own path, not the Dakota Fanning movie about female rockers.

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psych 8x03

2014-02-25T00:12:53Z

I've been on break for the past week, and I've literally done nothing. /Nothing./ And I'm not misusing the word literally. On the one hand, I feel bad. On the other...fuck it. I don't care. Which is troubling because lately that's been my attitude toward everything.

I also can't believe I'm about to graduate in about three months. HOW DO PEOPLE DEAL??

I'm not ready to be an adult yet. But I also know I can't put it off forever.

Anyway! Psych! The remake episode. Before we got into the commentary, I have to admit I totally don't remember the original episode at all.

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face? meet palm

2014-02-18T04:40:51Z

Happy Presidents' Day/Normal Monday. I did wonder this morning why we celebrate Presidents' Day and this Washington Post article kinda explains it. (I myself prefer the apostrophe at the end--to be all inclusive and equal.)

And another link: Living on a Maine island during the winter. I actually live on the mainland, but it was an interesting article nonethless. I have only been to Peaks once, but that once was an awesome time.

*

I also have to share what happened yesterday at the mall. My mother and I (after I spent the whole day dreading it and hoping the Apocalypse would come, or a natural disaster or something to get me out of it because I did not want to go) spent a few hours at Macy's trying on dresses for graduation. Ugh. I went through this once five years ago, and I had hoped never to repeat it. But, life, it is so hard. I did find a kinda okay dress, but I didn't buy it because I wasn't all that into it, and I want to come back March or sometime later. (I don't want to go back a second time but I feel like I'm still carrying around a lot of holiday/winter weight that I will hopefully lose when spring comes around.)

Anyway, that is not the story I wanted to tell. After trying on a few dresses, my mother and I went to get chicken teriyaki at the food court and when we were coming back in the direction of Macy's (because that's where we were dropped off and had to return), we saw two guys holding hands. I thought they were extremely cute. My mother? Said they were crazy.

I'm choosing to believe she meant it in a kinda concerned way and not...homophobic way. But there's honestly no way to tell. And I don't want to find out.

So. I feel like I have to apologize not just to every gay or bisexual or asexual person, but to every straight person too. I'm so sorry on behalf of my mother. If it helps, she was born in a village in an European country that's still so far behind the times. It shouldn't excuse her behavior at all, but that's kinda her head space.

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psych 8x02

2014-02-16T05:30:02Z

I was gonna post all my reactions on Twitter, but then I thought maybe that'd be spoilery, and then I thought, maybe no one would care to get spoiled about Psych if they're not already watching. Ah, anyways, I've decided to post all my reactions on here, just to be on the safe side. Because I really want to get into the spoilery goodness but I also don't want to inadvertently spoil anyone.

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porn battle XV + femslash100 fills

2014-02-15T05:23:07Z

Keeping Score (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Phil Coulson/Melinda May, [any], comfort, history, mats, past, warmth)
Untitled (Ever After, Danielle de Barbarac/Prince Henry, chase, diplomacy, garden, haste)
One Track Mind (Hockey RPF, Phil Kessel/Tyler Bozak, size difference)
The Dichotomy of You and Me (Hockey RPF, Phil Kessel/Tyler Bozak, praise)

and fills, not for porn battle XV, but for femslash100:

As Inevitable As Anything (Once Upon a Time, Emma/Regina)
Insperatus (Once Upon a Time, Emma/Regina)

All of these are crossposted to Ao3 as well, but I am a lazy butt who is too lazy to provide links right now. (The RPF is locked on Ao3 and I'd appreciate the links not getting crossposted [or--if they have to be--anonym.to/? is your friend] because I still feel kinda skeevy I'm writing RPF. The solution would be to /not/ write any RPF, but I think we can all see how /well/ that is going.)

We'll see if I can get anything more written, but between this cold that is threatening to engulf me and suddenly! papers to write, am not holding out too much hope.

~~Happy Valentine's Day/Normal Friday or it was when I started writing out this thing.~~

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dear spacer

2014-02-07T16:05:05Z

Hi, fellow space_swap enthusiast! First off, I'd like to say thank you for anything you create for me. I've chosen 'other' and 'fanfiction' but I really would love and squee over anything whether it be art, podfic, meta or fanvid. I consume anything fannish to an obsessive degree, the only important thing to me is that you have fun in what you decide to do.

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lil-1337 has all the best memes :)

2014-02-05T04:54:15Z

Give me a fandom that I have at least a passing familiarity with and a number/multiple numbers from below, and I shall respond with answers like I know what I'm doing.

1. Who is your OTP?
2. Who is your NOTP?
3. Favourite OTP scene?
4. Who is your OT3?
5. 3 favourite characters?
6. Least favourite character?
7. Scene you’d like to see?
8. Favourite flashback?
9. Favourite season and why?
10. Best minor character?
11. Most badass character?
12. Funniest character?
13. Favorite quote from the series?
14. Favourite season?
15. Character you’d love to kill off?
16. Most ridiculous plot line?
17. Favourite actress?
18. Favourite actor?
19. Favourite guest actor/actress?
20. Favourite underused character?
21. Actress or actor you’d love to see on the show?
22. Favourite crossover pairing?
23. Character you loved who died too soon?
24. Favourite song from the show?
25. How would you like the show to end?

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cottoncandy_bingo round 2 card

2014-02-04T04:41:04Z

Yayyyy, cottoncandy_bingo is back! I missed it. (Schmoop_bingo was my first, but this fills its shoes nicely. ~~"Fills"? Get it? I'm so funny.~~)

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notes to myself:
Sign-Ups: February 1, 2014 - June 1, 2014
Requesting additional cards ends: June 21, 2014
Round Two Ends: July 1, 2014
Amnesty: July 2, 2014 - December 31, 2014
Minimum word count is 500 words.

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